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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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NFL Week Two Winners And Losers

Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the second week of the NFL season:

Winners

  • Archie Manning: Following another dominant Denver Broncos performance, the retired Pro Bowler has every reason to be proud of his son
  • Greg Schiano: Showed cunning and tenacity as he expertly picked apart starting quarterback Josh Freeman’s confidence
  • NFC East Teams: By NFL regulations, one of these teams must make the playoffs

Losers

  • Jacksonville Jaguars: Suffered a hard-fought loss against the Raiders, despite putting up nearly 10 points
  • Cleveland Browns: Following their game against the Ravens, the Browns returned to Cleveland
  • Joe Flacco: Missed the birth of his child for a football game. He is an awful husband and an awful father.

More from this section

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

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