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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Nicolas Cage Broke

Owing $6.3 million in back taxes and facing financial ruin, Nicolas Cage, star of such hit films as Ghost Rider, National Treasure, and Con Air, has sold his Bavarian castle and put several of his homes on the market. Where did Cage's money go?

  • Invested heavily in nationwide Face/Off-themed chicken-and-biscuit franchises that were a complete bust
  • Handed Tom Waits $1,000 every time he asked
  • Unbeknownst to Cage, he was an executive producer of Battlefield Earth
  • Charismatic uncle kept approaching him with costly harebrained schemes to make a movie
  • Lost $5 million to Keanu Reeves in a high-stakes monotone-delivery competition
  • Forgot that multimillion-dollar heist he pulled in
  • Gone In Sixty Seconds was fake
  • Spent millions to have miniature replicas of all his clothes tailor-made so that he and his 1995 Best Actor Oscar could always be dressed alike
  • Threw lavish parties where there was music

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