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OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

Mr. Met’s Son Beginning To Think He Adopted

NEW YORK—Pointing out that there was little physical resemblance between himself and the rest of his family, the 10-year-old son of New York Mets mascot Mr. Met told reporters Tuesday that he was beginning to think he was adopted.

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.
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Notable Choke Jobs

The stunning upset is all well and good, but the disastrous collapse under pressure is just as big a part of sports. Some of the most notable:

1908: The Chicago Cubs completely blow their whole "lovable loser" identity by winning the World Series

1964: In their last 12 games, the Phillies squander a 6.5 game lead, a choke job so famous you're only hearing about it for the first time right now

1989: Shamu completely botches his 4:35 p.m. show

1992: Considered the heavy favorite to win gold in the decathlon, Dan O'Brien fails to even qualify for the Olympics after he forgets his discus, pole vault, and javelin at home

1992: After holding a 32-point lead, the Houston Oilers are just barely able to out-choke the Buffalo Bills

1993: In their only Family Feud appearance together, Michigan's Fab Five lose to the Robertson family because of Chris Webber's boneheaded move to use Jalen Rose's answer "bowl" for "Things You Pack for a Trip"

2008: The New England Patriots fail to win the Super Bowl after going 16-0 in the regular season; let's just take a second to remember how great that was

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New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

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