adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
End Of Section
  • More News

Notable Indy 500 Crashes

1911: At the very first Indy 500, race officials quickly realize all cars should drive in the same direction

1967: A.J. Foyt deftly maneuvers through a multiple-car crash, avoiding the burning wreckage while still running over competitors' bodies

1970: Though it seems Jerry Fetterman is able to walk away from his accident unscathed, it quickly becomes apparent that Fetterman's soul was actually stepping out of his body

1978: In perhaps the least devastating crash in Indy history, Tom Bagley's car just kind of falls over on its side

1985: Before entering their cars, Tom Sneva and Rich Vogler accidentally bump into each other and burst into flames

1991: In what many believe to be an act of sabotage, Buddy Lazier's car explodes as soon as he turns the key in the ignition

1995: After finishing 490 miles, flamboyant driver Jacques Villeneuve goes into a spiraling end-over-end crash for the final four laps to win the race

2007: Dario Franchitti wins an unusually wet 500, and the sight of his wife Ashley Judd jumping for joy in a skimpy rain-soaked sundress causes many viewers to have a little accident

2007: Model/actress/rookie driver Milka Duno hits the wall in the first turn after realizing nobody taught her how to steer

2009: Vitor Meira angers the rest of the field when shards of his spine fly all over the track, cutting the tires on several cars

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close