adBlockCheck

Sports

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
End Of Section
  • More News

Notable Indy 500 Crashes

1911: At the very first Indy 500, race officials quickly realize all cars should drive in the same direction

1967: A.J. Foyt deftly maneuvers through a multiple-car crash, avoiding the burning wreckage while still running over competitors' bodies

1970: Though it seems Jerry Fetterman is able to walk away from his accident unscathed, it quickly becomes apparent that Fetterman's soul was actually stepping out of his body

1978: In perhaps the least devastating crash in Indy history, Tom Bagley's car just kind of falls over on its side

1985: Before entering their cars, Tom Sneva and Rich Vogler accidentally bump into each other and burst into flames

1991: In what many believe to be an act of sabotage, Buddy Lazier's car explodes as soon as he turns the key in the ignition

1995: After finishing 490 miles, flamboyant driver Jacques Villeneuve goes into a spiraling end-over-end crash for the final four laps to win the race

2007: Dario Franchitti wins an unusually wet 500, and the sight of his wife Ashley Judd jumping for joy in a skimpy rain-soaked sundress causes many viewers to have a little accident

2007: Model/actress/rookie driver Milka Duno hits the wall in the first turn after realizing nobody taught her how to steer

2009: Vitor Meira angers the rest of the field when shards of his spine fly all over the track, cutting the tires on several cars

More from this section

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close