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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Notable NFL Roster Cuts

As NFL teams finalize their rosters in preparation for the 2007 season, Onion Sports lists the most notable cuts:

Larry Johnson: Coach Herm Edwards considered Johnson to be somewhat of a ball-hog

Ahman Green: With his ability to rack up a ton of offensive yards, score touchdowns, and be a game-changing player, Green was cut from the Texans for not really understanding the team concept

Leon Joe: Honestly, this Bears linebacker just smelled really, really bad

Rex Tucker, Lions: Well, the Lions had to cut someone, right? And if the cruel cosmic wheel of fate had to land on Rex Tucker, then who are we to look for a reason?

Blitz: The Seahawks anthropomorphic bird mascot showed up to camp 50 pounds overweight and with his mask on backwards

Joe Porter: Saints cut the cornerback after implementing a new defensive scheme in which no one covers the wide receivers

Drew Henson: The Vikings announced it was part of their plan all along to cut Henson, as that is the only thing he has ever known

Kevan Barlow: New Steelers coach Mike Tomlin sent a clear message to the rest of his team by cutting the veteran Barlow and then beating him up a little after that

Randall Cunningham: Sheepish Eagles later released statement saying they had no idea how this Hall of Fame great snuck into camp

MacKenzie Hoambrecker: Not a bad kicker, but the 49ers only allow one player with a silly name; already had Tully Banta-Cain 

Sean Mulcahy: This tight end was a hard worker, a team player, and a great locker-room presence that didn't deserve the stigma of being a Bengal

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