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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Notable Quarterback Controversies

Competition for starting jobs is heating up across the NFL, as is the potential for a quarterback controversy. Onion Sports takes a look at the greatest QB squabbles of all time:

  • 1973: Chuck Noll calls Terry Bradshaw and Joe Gilliam into his study to dramatically accuse Bradshaw of murder
  • 1989: Although Steve Young correctly guesses the number George Seifert is thinking of, Seifert still goes with Joe Montana
  • 1993: Redskins fans are up in arms as head coach Petitbon chooses the washed-up Mark Rypien over the Mark Rypien that won the Super Bowl
  • 1994: With his arch-nemesis holding Dave Brown and Kent Graham over a cliff, Giants coach Dan Reeves makes the most difficult decision of his life and lets them both go
  • 1997: Though Rich Gannon proves himself to be a strong leader, Marty Schottenheimer chooses Elvis Grbac because Rich Gannon doesn't have any arms
  • 2006: The Chargers award Philip Rivers the starting role when Drew Brees receives a lot more money to play somewhere else
  • 2007: After much deliberation and prayer, Tony Dungy once again goes with Peyton Manning at QB
  • 2009: Rules for the Derek Anderson–Brady Quinn quarterback competition don't stipulate that the loser will be executed on the 50-yard after the final preseason game

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