adBlockCheck

Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
End Of Section
  • More News

Notable Siblings In Sports

In honor of Kurt and Kyle Busch winning back-to-back NASCAR races, we look at other sporting brothers and sisters:

The Boones: Second baseman Bret and third baseman Aaron made major league history by becoming the first set of brothers to get their tips frosted at the same time

The Grants: Harvey was never able to make much of an impact in the NBA, despite wearing goggles ten times larger than those of his brother Horace

The Gramaticas: The fact that two of the 32 NFL placekicking jobs were held by brothers Martin and Bill would be fairly impressive if placekicking were an impressive skill

The Johnsons: Though they have yet to realize it, pitcher Randy Johnson and running back Larry Johnson remain one of the most talented brother tandems in sports

The Sharpes: Shannon and Sterling made a name for themselves in the NFL as the brother tandem whom everyone most wished would shut up

The Millers: In addition to a storied 17-year career, guard Reggie Miller also won two NCAA titles and an Olympic gold medal dressed as his "sister" Cheryl

The Ripkens: Billy Ripken holds the record for most consecutive games watching his brother while grinding his teeth with jealousy

The Williamses: Serena and Venus and oh, sweet Jesus, those thighs

The Schumachers: Seven-time Formula One champion Michael may be the best racing driver the world has ever seen; in a nod to their German love of symmetry, his brother Ralf is one of the worst

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close