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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Notable Sports Collapses

Rory McIlroy went into the final round of the Masters with a four-stroke lead, but shot eight over on the last 18 holes, flailing uselessly all day. Add his meltdown to this list of all-time great collapses:

  • Kobe Bryant: During a 2006 regular-season game, Bryant only manages to score 81 points against the Toronto Raptors
  • Nick Anderson: In the 1995 NBA Finals, with his team up by three points, the Magic's Anderson misses four consecutive free throws, changing his status from guaranteed non-Hall-of-Famer to surefire non-Hall-of-Famer
  • Jay Haas: During the final hole of the 1996 Ryder Cup, Haas crumbles under the pressure, driving the ball a weak 120 yards when all he needed to do was to tap in a two-foot putt
  • Tiger Woods: After a promising start to his career at age 2, Woods eventually falls apart in a series of bad shots, knee injuries, and terrible life decisions
  • Mike Tyson: Though heavily favored in his 1990 match against Buster Douglas, the undefeated Tyson knocks himself out with an uppercut in the 10th round
  • Ben Crenshaw: After failing to put the right sleeve around Nick Faldo's arm at the 1996 Masters, Crenshaw completely falls apart and drops the green jacket on the floor before running out of the ceremony crying
  • 1985 Baltimore Stars: Led the USFL title game with just three minutes left on the clock when the league suddenly folded
  • Wheaties Box: No one really cares who's on the goddamn thing anymore

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