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Notable Sports Contracts

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Notable Sports Contracts

With Alex Rodriguez once again making headlines with a new contract, Onion Sports looks at the long and fascinating history of the intersection of sports and money:

1904: Honus Wagner becomes the highest-paid player in baseball history, signing a contract worth $21 per week, 45 acres of corn, and 12 pigs

1980: Hundreds of NFL players sign contracts that, in terms of healthcare, will screw them over in about 20 years

1995: Kevin Garnett re-signs with the Timberwolves for $126 million, although his contract is worth an additional $50 million if he can think up five to six additional incentives

1999: In one of the most ill-fated contracts of all-time, the Dodgers sign pitcher Kevin Brown to a 142-year, $650 billion contract

2001: Patriots promise Drew Bledsoe $103 million if he agrees to stay out of their way while they try to get to the Super Bowl

2002: Scott Boras convinces the Dodgers to give Darren Dreifort a five-year, $55 million contract despite the fact that Dreifort had lost his right arm in a thresher the night before

2003: Jason Kidd signs a six-year, $103,572,861 contract with the Nets; he chooses this specific amount because 103,572,861 is his lucky number

2004: Impressed by his hustle and head for the game, Green Bay Packers sign cornerback Mike McKenzie's agent, Drew Rosenhaus, to play cornerback

2007: Included in David Beckham's $250 million contract is a an ultimatum clause, which states that he must choose to either save American soccer or destroy it forever

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