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Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Notable Sports Injuries

Tom Brady's season-ending knee injury certainly changed the complexion of the NFL season, but it isn't the first time a player has made headlines from the sidelines:

1977: Dennis Eckersley is forced to miss the entire 1977 season when he tears three ligaments in his mustache

1985: Joe Theismann suffers a compound fracture of his lower right leg, forcing the bone through his skin in such a horrifyingly gruesome fashion that people still make you look at it even today

1989: On his first play from scrimmage as an NFL player, rookie Detroit Lions running back Barry Sanders tears every single tendon and ligament in both knees, giving him the incredible flexibility and quick change-of-direction that became his trademark

1995: Ken Griffey Jr. extends the recovery time of his broken wrist by at least three weeks when he ignores doctor's orders to not continually poke the wrist to see if it still hurts

1997: Michael Jordan is deeply, deeply hurt when Karl Malone is chosen Most Valuable Player over him

2000: Believing that he may have injured his hip, Randy Moss forces his Viking teammates to carry him on his routes, catch the ball, hand the ball to him, pick him back up, and lug him towards the end zone

2001: Following Drew Bledsoe's chest injury, the struggling Patriots were forced to go with a no-name sixth-round draft pick at quarterback and went on to win only two Super Bowls in the next three years

2003: Long since accustomed to their oft-injured teammate, the Orlando Magic play an entire three quarters of basketball while Grant Hill lays at center court holding his ankle and shrieking in agony

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