Notable Sports Suspensions

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Vol 49 Issue 30

Tall Women At Higher Risk For Cancer

According to a new study, tall postmenopausal women are more likely to develop cancer than shorter women, with researchers finding that every 4-inch increase in height correlated to a 13 percent higher risk of a variety of cancers.

Lincoln Memorial Vandalized With Green Paint

Police closed the Lincoln Memorial early today after discovering that vandals had splattered green paint along the base of the iconic statue of 16th president Abraham Lincoln, as well as on the monument’s marble floor.
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  • Child Visiting Ellis Island Sees Where Grandparents Once Toured

    ELLIS ISLAND, NY—Pausing to imagine the throngs of people who must have arrived with them that day back in 1994, 12-year-old Max Bertrand reportedly spent his visit to Ellis Island this afternoon walking around the same immigrant station his grandparents once toured.

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Notable Sports Suspensions

With the MLB suspending Brewers left fielder Ryan Braun 65 games for violating the league's drug policy, Onion Sports takes a look at some of the most significant punishments in the history of athletics.

  • 1881: Buttercup Dickerson of the Worcester Ruby Legs is suspended 40 games "for frequenting Saloons, Gambling Halls, and Dens of Iniquity; and generally evincing a Poor Moral Character not befitting a Worcester Man"
  • 1964-1992: South Africa is banned from the Olympics for refusing to exploit its young black athletes for a multibillion-dollar amateur sporting event the same way it does its other young athletes
  • 1978: Woody Hayes suspended for punching a Clemson linebacker in the face, beginning football's disturbing trend of bowing to proponents of player safety
  • 1987: Al Davis suspended by the NFL for his role in the Iran-Contra affair
  • 1989: Pete Rose banned from hot action for life
  • 2004: Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams is suspended four games and receives a $650,000 fine for something that was not assaulting an exotic dancer, having sex with an underage prostitute, attempting to have the judge presiding over his drug trafficking trial killed, operating a vicious dog fighting ring, shooting his pregnant girlfriend to death, or drunkenly running over a guy with his car
  • 2005: On his first day back since the infamous brawl that resulted in his ban for the majority of the previous NBA season, Indiana Pacers forward Ron Artest is immediately hit with another season-long suspension after returning to the stands to continue the fight
  • 2009: Manny Ramirez gets 50 games despite buying clean urine from a guy and drinking it
  • 2010: Washington Wizards star Gilbert Arenas receives an indefinite suspension after violating the NBA’s strict policy against storing more than four unloaded firearms in a team locker room
  • 2011: Ndamukong Suh is suspended after breaking the obscure NFL regulation that prohibits stomping on the head of a defenseless player after the play is over
  • 2013: Star Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez is given a lifetime ban from Major League Baseball, ending his career in total disgrace and leaving his life a tattered mess
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