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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Obama's State Of The Union Address

On Tuesday night, President Barack Obama will appear before a joint session of Congress and deliver his first State of the Union address since being reelected. Here is what to expect in this year’s speech:

  • Obama to punctuate each point with skeet shot
  • Throughout the speech, a large star-spangled beach ball will be batted around the House of Representatives to congressmen’s delight
  • Michelle Obama to widen tight-mouthed grin slightly at mention of health care
  • Sign language interpreter to be given two minutes at the end of the speech to say whatever she wants to the nation’s deaf
  • Harsh criticism of the American people
  • President Obama to give a shout-out to some sad business owner who hasn’t wised up yet and shipped all of his jobs to China
  • Some light crowd work whenever Obama feels like it’s dead out there
  • Planned gag where Gabby Giffords pops in behind the podium, making Obama think the riotous applause is for him

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Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

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