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Politics

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

What You Need To Know About The Dakota Access Pipeline

Construction is currently stalled on the Dakota Access Pipeline, which would connect North Dakota’s Bakken Shale development to oil tank farms in Illinois, by protests led by members of the Standing Rock Sioux tribe. The Onion provides answers to key questions about the project.

What Can Americans Expect Under A Trump Presidency?

With two months until the inauguration of Donald Trump, many Americans are wondering what his term will look like and what his administration might accomplish. The Onion answers some common questions about Trump’s upcoming presidency

James Comey Quickly Reopens Clinton Email Investigation For Few More Minutes

‘Nope, Looks Like It’s All Good Here,’ Says FBI Director

WASHINGTON—In a letter addressed to Congress that was quickly followed by a second message retracting the first, FBI director James Comey is said to have briefly reopened the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails for several more minutes Friday.

Pollsters Admit They Underestimated Voters’ Adrenal Glands

WASHINGTON—In response to widespread criticism that they had failed to predict Donald Trump’s victory in the 2016 election, analysts from polling organizations around the nation admitted Thursday they had underestimated the influence of voters’ adrenal glands on the presidential race.
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October Surprises In History

Many elections have been altered by an "October surprise," or a sudden revelation that casts one candidate in a bad light. Here are some of the more memorable October surprises from years past:

1816: James Monroe (Democratic-Republican) vs. Rufus King (Federalist)—The Daily Pottstown Ledger intercepts a carrier pigeon carrying erotic poetry from Sen. King to an unidentified minor

1840: William Henry Harrison (Whig) vs. Martin Van Buren (Democrat)—In one of the earliest photographs ever taken in the United States, the incumbent Van Buren is revealed to be nothing more than a topcoat stuffed with leaves

1868: Ulysses S. Grant (Republican) vs. Horatio Seymour (Democrat)—Scandal erupts when it is discovered that Seymour secretly supports polio

1924: Calvin Coolidge (Republican) vs. John W. Davis (Democrat)—Publishing magnate William Randolph Hearst releases photos of Davis dressed as a flapper

1960: John F. Kennedy (Democrat) vs. Richard Nixon (Republican)—Chicago's powerful League of Deceased Voters rescinds its endorsement of Nixon

1984: Ronald Reagan (Republican) vs. Walter Mondale (Democrat)—Ronald Reagan finds Osama bin Laden and gives him $100 million to fight the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan

1988: George H. W. Bush (Republican) vs. Michael Dukakis (Democrat)—Voters are shocked when it is revealed that Dukakis previously slept with and impregnated his wife of many years

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