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Olympic Surprises

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Olympic Surprises

One week into competition, the London 2012 Games has already provided its share of surprises, including Michael Phelps failing to win a medal in the 400-meter individual medley. Onion Sports looks at the most stunning moments so far.

  • Somehow, Americans seem to recognize the fit, disciplined Team USA athletes as their countrymen
  • Bob Costas surprises even himself by only using the word "majestic" three times to describe the women's skeet-shooting final
  • American Jordyn Wieber fails to qualify for the all-around gymnastics finals after the judges dock her crucial points in the floor exercise for insufficient face glitter
  • Ryan Lochte spits up 15 liters of pool water after placing fourth in the 200-meter freestyle
  • British Olympians use home advantage to dominate every single event
  • Preliminary rounds in men's beach volleyball are canceled when a gross looking seagull refuses to leave the venue
  • Not a single medal so far for West Germany
  • Michael Phelps fails to medal in the 400-meter individual medley after getting bored with swimming halfway through and climbing out of the pool

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