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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Olympic Surprises

One week into competition, the London 2012 Games has already provided its share of surprises, including Michael Phelps failing to win a medal in the 400-meter individual medley. Onion Sports looks at the most stunning moments so far.

  • Somehow, Americans seem to recognize the fit, disciplined Team USA athletes as their countrymen
  • Bob Costas surprises even himself by only using the word "majestic" three times to describe the women's skeet-shooting final
  • American Jordyn Wieber fails to qualify for the all-around gymnastics finals after the judges dock her crucial points in the floor exercise for insufficient face glitter
  • Ryan Lochte spits up 15 liters of pool water after placing fourth in the 200-meter freestyle
  • British Olympians use home advantage to dominate every single event
  • Preliminary rounds in men's beach volleyball are canceled when a gross looking seagull refuses to leave the venue
  • Not a single medal so far for West Germany
  • Michael Phelps fails to medal in the 400-meter individual medley after getting bored with swimming halfway through and climbing out of the pool
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