adBlockCheck

Olympic Torch Relay Difficulties

Top Headlines

Sports

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Olympic Torch Relay Difficulties

Roughhousing protesters forced Beijing Olympics personnel to extinguish the torch three times as the relay crossed France, but those were far from the only problems faced by China's much-criticized Olympic organizers:

Beijing, China: The torch relay starts in this city, providing a symbolic reminder of what a huge mistake it was to hold the Olympics in Beijing

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: Olympic gold medalist Lim Keng Liat totally forgets to embody the spirit of harmony and goodwill the flame represents during the first 450 feet of her relay

San Francisco: A runner carrying the Olympic torch accidentally collides with a runner carrying the Special Olympics extremely dry bush

Atlanta: Though the torch isn't scheduled to make a stop in this former Olympic host city, Muhammad Ali is still standing in the exact same spot he was back in 1996

London, England: Some idiot just throws torch in garbage

Olympia, Greece: Brief delay as officials are unable to determine whether or not Zeus himself lit the flame or if he had Hephaestus do it for him

Lake Como, Italy: Everyone is embarrassed for Italian torch-relay member Giuseppe Colgano when he detours eight blocks to his ex-wife's house and tells her "I am carrying this torch for you"

Muscat, Oman: Runner Batal Al Qaws performs the relay torch transition with his wrong hand, and his receiver Saad Al Shemmari unwittingly runs 1.4 miles proudly carrying a foot-long hot dog in the air

Istanbul, Turkey: Frustrated officials are unable to catch the rascally rabbit that keeps blowing out the torch whenever they turn their heads

Islamabad, Pakistan: After Chinese officials send him food and water to get him healthy enough to carry the torch, a refreshed and reenergized Osama bin Laden runs over three miles

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close