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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Onion Sports 2011 Mock NFL Draft

Conventional draft wisdom says to take the best player available, but sometimes a team needs something different. With that in mind, here's how OSN predicts the first ten picks of the NFL Draft will go:

  • Carolina Panthers: QB Cam Newton. Would bring with him the much-needed knowledge of what touchdowns are and how to get them
  • Denver Broncos: DT Marcell Dareus. Though anyone could play better defense than the current Broncos team, it seems like a big, strong guy with college experience would be a good way to go
  • Buffalo Bills: LB Von Miller. Miller excels at running toward the guy who has the ball, which is something the Bills defense has failed to do for years
  • Cincinnati Bengals: WR Greg Salas. Despite a rather sparse draft class, the Bengals still somehow manage to make the worst possible pick
  • Arizona Cardinals: QB Cam Newton. The Cardinals will then shamefully admit to Commissioner Goodell that they weren't paying attention, apologize, and select WR Greg Salas instead
  • Cleveland Browns: WR A.J. Green. Might be able to make some impressive grabs if Colt McCoy can reach him
  • San Francisco: CB Patrick Peterson. San Fran has been looking to shore up its pass defense after giving up more than 27 million yards in the air last season
  • New England Patriots: DE Robert Quinn. A savvy organization like New England isn't going to let the fact that they have the 17th pick prevent them from picking eighth
  • Dallas Cowboys: OT Tyron Smith. He’s the strongest tackle in the draft, and he fits right in with the Cowboys, what with being an idiot and all
  • Washington Redskins: Bust. The Redskins will stick to their draft-day formula, selecting somebody who can familiarize himself with their system immediately

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