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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Onion Sports' Guide To The 2013 NCAA Bubble Teams

With March Madness just around the corner, Onion Sports provides in-depth analysis on which teams will make or miss the NCAA tournament.

  • Villanova: Like a team that’s second in the nation in free-throw attempts isn’t getting into the tourney? Yeah right, try to stop them, NCAA
  • La Salle: This is a team with a lot of spunk and a whole lot of heart but almost no pluck whatsoever—they face an uphill battle
  • Iowa: Accidentally filled out NCAA form 5601-G instead of 5691-J, leaving them on the outside looking in
  • Kentucky: Disappointing performance this season makes them an unlikely selection, but they have shown the committee flashes of the kind of serious NCAA violations a John Calipari team needs to go deep
  • Temple University: A strong finish to the regular season could set up the Owls for their most recent first-round exit since 2012
  • Gonzaga: The number-one team in the nation, sure, but how good can they really be?
  • Baylor: Their policy of outright refusal to shoot free throws during games will only serve to hurt Baylor down the stretch
  • University of Utah: The Utes had one of the most intimidating schedules coming into the season, which somewhat explains their 11-17 record
  • Northwestern: Don’t discount the Wildcats—6’5” guard Drew Crawford is the chair of the 2013 NCAA selection committee

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