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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?
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Onion Sports’ NFL Week 11 Picks

OSN shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in this weekend’s NFL week 11 games:

Colts at Titans

OSN’s Lock Of The Week: Titans – Jumping out to an early 14-0 lead and holding onto it will be just what the Titans need to turn their season around.

Lions at Steelers

OSN’s Pick: Lions – Expect Pittsburgh to rack up a ton of yards carting injured players back to the locker room.

Jets at Bills

OSN’s Pick: Jets – Ed Reed will send a clear message to the Texans that he’s just as washed-up and slow as they thought he was when they cut him last week.

Ravens at Bears

OSN’s Pick: Bears – The OSN Stats Bureau indicates that quarterback Joe Flacco has only completed 15 percent of his passes that weren’t some fluky bullshit where it was tipped or the receiver had to jump up 10 feet to haul it down.

Redskins at Eagles

OSN’s Pick: Redskins – Though the Redskins will likely pull this game out, one thing is certain: Philadelphia fans will stick by their team no matter what happens.

Falcons at Buccaneers

OSN’s Pick: Buccaneers – Tampa Bay will be counting on strong performances from Tampa Bay running back, Tampa Bay quarterback, and of course, Tampa Bay tight end.

Browns at Bengals

OSN’s Pick: Browns – OSN’s oracle suffered violent convulsions and began spewing fetid black tar, so we just assumed she meant Cleveland.

Cardinals at Jaguars

OSN’s Pick: Cardinals – The Cardinals will snap the Jags’ longest winning streak of the season.

Raiders at Texans

OSN’s Pick: Texans – Houston defensive coordinator Wade Phillips will be more than prepared to pull defensive levers, twist defensive dials, and push defensive buttons.

Chargers at Dolphins

OSN’s Pick: Chargers – The Dolphins are coming off the first of two straight losses.

49ers at Saints

OSN’s Pick: 49ers – Jim Harbaugh will motivate his players before the game by holding a knife to his throat and threatening to seriously do it if they lose this week.

Packers at Giants

OSN’s Pick: Giants – The Giants are proving they can beat just about any team that has an inexperienced, ineffective quarterback.

Vikings at Seahawks

OSN’s Pick: Seahawks – The Seahawks have had this game circled on their calendar since Wednesday.

Chiefs at Broncos

OSN’s Pick: Broncos – If there’s a team to snap the Chiefs’ undefeated record, it’s the Broncos, 49ers, Patriots, Seahawks, Saints, or Colts.

Patriots at Panthers

OSN’s Pick: Panthers – Expect the red-hot Panthers to continue to burn through their competition, with all 53 Carolina players merging into a blinding white orb of unfathomable heat that incinerates the earth and everything living on it.

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