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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Onion Sports’ NFL Week Nine Picks

OSN shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in this weekend’s NFL week nine games:

Bengals at Dolphins

OSN’s Lock Of The Week: Bengals – Expect a tough and gritty matchup to eventually head to overtime deadlocked at 20-20, but with 6:38 left in the game, the voices in Andy Dalton’s mind—those dark, terrible voices he thought he’d finally rid himself of—start speaking again, louder and louder until he loses concentration and gives up a game-ending safety.

Chiefs at Bills

OSN’s Pick: Chiefs – This is another favorable matchup for the Chiefs, as the Bills have consistently struggled with winning games that they are playing in.

Falcons at Panthers

OSN’s Pick: Panthers – Expect this game to have a playoff-like atmosphere, given the dejected Falcons will be eliminated from the postseason.

Vikings at Cowboys

OSN’s Pick: Cowboys – Dallas tightens their grip on the NFC East race whether they win or lose.

Saints at Jets

OSN’s Pick: Saints – This battle between Rex and Rob Ryan should settle once and for all which brother is the more competent loudmouthed pile of shit.

Chargers at Redskins

OSN’s Pick: Chargers – Look for Chargers receivers to show Brandon Meriweather the proper way to hit someone.

Titans at Rams

OSN’s Pick: Rams – With the Rams’ dangerous pass rushers Chris Long and Robert Quinn, Titans quarterback Jake Locker must rely on his mobility if he wants to get off the turf after sacks.

Eagles at Raiders

OSN’s Pick: Eagles – The Eagles mustn’t get caught off guard by the devious read option from the Raiders, who will have their hands full trying to decipher Chip Kelly’s secret weapon: the read option.

Buccaneers at Seahawks

OSN’s Pick: Seahawks – This game will most likely take Greg Schiano off the hot seat.

Ravens at Browns

OSN’s Pick: Browns – Fans of top-notch pro football should keep their eyes glued to the screen so they don’t miss the two or three brief moments when it occurs during this game.

Steelers at Patriots

OSN’s Pick: Patriots – The Steelers have never been this much fun to watch.

Colts at Texans

OSN’s Pick: Colts – Don’t let the Texans’ 2-5 record fool you—their two wins were close scrapes against the Chargers and the Titans.

Bears at Packers

OSN’s Pick: Packers – Green Bay’s rookie running back Eddie Lacy will be challenged mentally and physically by the massive, daunting holes in the Bears’ defense.

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