Onion Sports’ NFL Week Seven Picks

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Vol 49 Issue 42

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Onion Sports’ NFL Week Seven Picks

OSN shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in this weekend’s NFL week seven games:

Seahawks at Cardinals

OSN’s Lock Of The Week: Cardinals – Backup quarterback Drew Stanton will lead Arizona to victory after Bruce Arian wisely benches Carson Palmer, though if for some reason he sticks with Palmer, expect the Seahawks to cruise to an easy 34-22 win on the strength of two interceptions and six sacks.

Buccaneers at Falcons

OSN’s Pick: Buccaneers – Atlanta quarterback Matt Ryan is really going to miss injured receiver Julio Jones, but they’ll get at least a dozen chances to catch up on the sidelines after stalled drives.

Bengals at Lions

OSN’s Pick: Bengals – Expect Calvin Johnson to play a huge role for the Lions, assuming a serious knee injury doesn’t affect one’s performance as wide receiver.

Bills at Dolphins

OSN’s Pick: Dolphins – Unfortunately for the Bills, the Dolphins’ roster is built for games against shitty teams at home after a bye week.

Patriots at Jets

OSN’s Pick: Patriots – It will be more understandable this week when Patriots fans leave the stadium midway through the fourth quarter.

Cowboys at Eagles

OSN’s Pick: Cowboys – The latest showdown between these two bitter rivals features two of the best quarterbacks in this game.

Bears at Redskins

OSN’s Pick: Bears – The outcome of this game will ultimately come down to an orange Monarch butterfly that landed on the hood of Mike Shanahan’s car on March 12, 1978.

Rams at Panthers

OSN’s Pick: Rams – St. Louis head coach Jeff Fisher needs to pull something out of his bag of tricks so he has something fun to do during this boring matchup.

Chargers at Jaguars

OSN’s Pick: Chargers – Jacksonville’s confidence will certainly slip this week after Jaguars players overhear Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers urging his teammates not to try too hard.

49ers at Titans

OSN’s Pick: 49ers – Game should come down to stout this, tough that, and good whatever.

Browns at Packers

OSN’s Pick: Packers – The injury-plagued Packers should be able to take care of business once they finish introducing themselves to one another.

Texans at Chiefs

OSN’s Pick: Who Cares? – Andy Reid has a spring in his step, and you know what? He looks happy. He actually looks happy.

Ravens at Steelers

OSN’s Pick: Ravens – Points will be at a premium during this tough, hard-hitting game between two atrocious offenses.

Broncos at Colts

OSN’s Pick: Broncos – Former Colts quarterback Peyton Manning journeys over a thousand miles to return to his old spawning grounds to release his milt.

Vikings at Giants

OSN’s Pick: Giants – As consistent as Eli Manning has been this year, he hasn’t run into anything like Minnesota’s defense yet.

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