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Onion Sports’ Sweet 16 Picks

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Onion Sports’ Sweet 16 Picks

OSN shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in this year’s NCAA Tournament Sweet 16:

  • Florida vs. UCLA
    OSN’s Pick: Florida — As long as the Gators are hitting their shots, they’ll accumulate points, and that will be key in determining the outcome of this heated matchup.
  • Dayton vs. Stanford
    OSN’s Pick: Dayton — Unlike their opponents, Dayton’s players don’t have anything else to fall back on.
  • Virginia vs. Michigan State
    OSN’s Pick: Michigan State — The Spartans simply don’t have an answer for DeAndre Kane or Melvin Ejim, which isn’t a big deal since neither of them plays for Virginia.
  • Iowa State vs. Connecticut
    OSN’s Pick: Connecticut — Scrappy underdogs UConn will outperform their seven-seed ranking in a heartwarming victory over powerhouse Iowa State.
  • Arizona vs. SDSU
    OSN’s Pick: San Diego State — If these two teams score a combined 130 points or more during Thursday’s matchup, attendees will receive a coupon for automatic admission into either school.
  • Baylor vs. Wisconsin
    OSN’s Pick: Wisconsin — Wisconsin holds a slight edge in a game that is very difficult to predict because chaos governs our universe.
  • Kentucky vs. Louisville
    OSN’s Pick: Louisville — The Cardinals should be able to easily defeat the lower-ranked Wildcats if they manage to block out the cacophony of banjo playing produced by both teams’ fans.
  • Tennessee vs. Michigan
    OSN’s Pick: Tennessee — Holding an 11-2 advantage, the Volunteers have far more seeds than the lowly Wolverines, a gap that will almost certainly be insurmountable.

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