adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Opposition To John Bolton

John Bolton's temporary appointment as U.S. ambassador to the U.N. expires in January. This is what he's done to recently cause renewed opposition from both parties:

  • Replaced his seat at U.N. with comfy hammock
  • Constantly demands reform of other delegates' faces
  • Set up hundreds of committees and subcommittees in effort to cut U.N.'s bureaucratic fat
  • Can't keep pants on when meeting with leading senators
  • Repeatedly says, "Did you hear something? I thought I heard someone talking, but I don't see anyone" when other delegates address floor
  • Used aid allocated for Darfur to upgrade to premium U.N. meal plan
  • Continually lapses into mocking, stereotypical Italian accent
  • Has been generally as effective as rest of U.N.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close