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Politics

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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Opposition To John Bolton

John Bolton's temporary appointment as U.S. ambassador to the U.N. expires in January. This is what he's done to recently cause renewed opposition from both parties:

  • Replaced his seat at U.N. with comfy hammock
  • Constantly demands reform of other delegates' faces
  • Set up hundreds of committees and subcommittees in effort to cut U.N.'s bureaucratic fat
  • Can't keep pants on when meeting with leading senators
  • Repeatedly says, "Did you hear something? I thought I heard someone talking, but I don't see anyone" when other delegates address floor
  • Used aid allocated for Darfur to upgrade to premium U.N. meal plan
  • Continually lapses into mocking, stereotypical Italian accent
  • Has been generally as effective as rest of U.N.

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

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