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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Original Kermit Donated To Smithsonian

Last week, Jane Henson, widow of Jim Henson, donated 10 Muppets to the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History, including the original Kermit. Here are some of the other things donated to the museum in the past six months:

  • Original bar napkin script of Unfit For Command: Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out Against John Kerry
  • Pelt of third Benji, to complete collection
  • Preserved snowball hurled at Santa Claus during halftime of the Dec. 15, 1968 Philadelphia Eagles game
  • Cup, chewing tobacco used by Lucille Ball
  • Sunglasses case of recent Smithsonian patron Melinda St. Clair
  • The arm that the hand from The Addams Family came off of
  • Some of the lesser-known letters from the original Wheel Of Fortune
  • Nearly complete skeleton of adult male Don Knotts

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