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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?
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OSN’s Tips For Turning Your NFL Season Around

Heading into week five, there are 10 NFL franchises with a 1-3 or worse record. Here are some surefire tips for teams to get their seasons back on track:

  • Remember, it’s never too late to turn your season around, unless of course you’re an NFL team that started 0-4, at which point it’s time to start thinking draft strategy.
  • Visualize going 8-8.
  • Take it one game at a time. Then if you’re feeling lucky, go ahead and take it four or five games at a time.
  • In your pregame speech, explain to your players that this team is like a big ship. They’ll know what you mean.
  • Learn the value of teamwork: +0.72 wins per season, on average.
  • All you need is heart, desire, and a brand-new roster loaded with Pro Bowl–level talent.
  • If Greg Schiano, Rex Ryan, Leslie Frazier, Todd Haley, or Marty Mornhinweg are part of your coaching staff, fire them immediately.
  • Abandon narrow-minded measurement of success in terms of wins and losses.
  • Ask any of the nation’s incredibly knowledgeable sports columnists for their expertise.
  • Create bulletin board material to motivate your players by openly talking about how much they suck during press conferences.
  • Just wait it out until Von Miller is back from suspension.
  • Remember that this is a league in which a shitty 10-6 team with Joe Flacco at quarterback can win a Super Bowl.

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