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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Panel Chairmen: Cut $200 Billion From Budget

The chairmen of a bipartisan panel on reducing the federal budget deficit have outlined a proposal that, among other things, calls for boosting the federal gas tax, raising the retirement age, and reducing corporate tax rates to as low as 26 percent. Here are some of their other suggestions:

  • Raise taxes on everyone in Rhode Island—it's not like they can do anything about it
  • Register the United States as a corporation in the Cayman Islands
  • Save $1.3 million in annual salaries by cutting back the Supreme Court to a less-extravagant three-judge panel
  • Drastic reduction in number of middle-school crossing guards at intersections—those children should know how to do this by now
  • Replace federal work force with a computer
  • Beginning in 2020, all Social Security recipients must work minimum of two monthly shifts at Smithsonian Air and Space Museum
  • $50 Air Force One checked-bag fee
  • Sharply increase taxes on the lower class, as the middle and upper classes each have a political party defending their interests

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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