adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Panel Chairmen: Cut $200 Billion From Budget

The chairmen of a bipartisan panel on reducing the federal budget deficit have outlined a proposal that, among other things, calls for boosting the federal gas tax, raising the retirement age, and reducing corporate tax rates to as low as 26 percent. Here are some of their other suggestions:

  • Raise taxes on everyone in Rhode Island—it's not like they can do anything about it
  • Register the United States as a corporation in the Cayman Islands
  • Save $1.3 million in annual salaries by cutting back the Supreme Court to a less-extravagant three-judge panel
  • Drastic reduction in number of middle-school crossing guards at intersections—those children should know how to do this by now
  • Replace federal work force with a computer
  • Beginning in 2020, all Social Security recipients must work minimum of two monthly shifts at Smithsonian Air and Space Museum
  • $50 Air Force One checked-bag fee
  • Sharply increase taxes on the lower class, as the middle and upper classes each have a political party defending their interests

More from this section

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close