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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Player-Led Workouts

In a normal year, most NFL teams would be starting their minicamps right now. With the lockout in effect, some players have taken the initiative to organize workouts on their own, with varying degrees of success.

  • Albert Haynesworth: 15 reps of breakfast
  • Buffalo Bills: Ryan Fitzpatrick organized a specialized passing practice at his house, during which teammates could come over and teach him how to properly throw the ball
  • Arizona Cardinals: Larry Fitzgerald invited several top players from different teams to work out at his Arizona compound, where he organized drills and begged them to sign with the Cardinals
  • San Fransisco 49ers: QB Alex Smith has been throwing to receivers Josh Morgan and Ted Ginn, though neither of them have caught any passes and both have repeatedly told him to get out of their homes
  • Tennessee Titans: TE Craig Stevens started working out at a nearby high school but was asked to leave about 20 minutes later
  • Chicago Bears: Defensive players practiced their team fundamentals by having linebacker Lance Briggs hit the tackling dummies while linebacker Brian Urlacher got all the credit
  • Kansas City Chiefs: Just holding regular offseason workouts as usual, because who pays any attention to the Chiefs?
  • Nobody: Working their asses off in negotiations so there can actually be some fucking football this year
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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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