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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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PlayStation 3 vs. Nintendo Wii

Last week marked the debut of both Sony's and Nintendo's next-generation consoles. Here's how they stack up:

Attribute PlayStation 3 Nintendo Wii
Cost Fucking ridiculous Reasonably ridiculous
Ability to tear apart families Second-to-none Pretty strong, though mostly because everyone wishes it were a PlayStation instead
The way your peers will view you "Dude! Can I come over and play that shit?" "I'll come over, but don't tell anybody, okay?"
Special features Speeds pace of evolution if touched Plays Super Nintendo games
Love of owner This much Thiiis much
Senses Fear Motion
Madden "What you got here is a real powerhouse of a system that could emerge as a legitimate contender in this league" "Small, scrappy system with a lot of potential. You gotta love this little guy's heart"
Parenting substitute Excellent Excellent

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