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PlayStation 3 vs. Nintendo Wii

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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PlayStation 3 vs. Nintendo Wii

Last week marked the debut of both Sony's and Nintendo's next-generation consoles. Here's how they stack up:

Attribute PlayStation 3 Nintendo Wii
Cost Fucking ridiculous Reasonably ridiculous
Ability to tear apart families Second-to-none Pretty strong, though mostly because everyone wishes it were a PlayStation instead
The way your peers will view you "Dude! Can I come over and play that shit?" "I'll come over, but don't tell anybody, okay?"
Special features Speeds pace of evolution if touched Plays Super Nintendo games
Love of owner This much Thiiis much
Senses Fear Motion
Madden "What you got here is a real powerhouse of a system that could emerge as a legitimate contender in this league" "Small, scrappy system with a lot of potential. You gotta love this little guy's heart"
Parenting substitute Excellent Excellent

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