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PlayStation 3 vs. Nintendo Wii

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Lawn and Garden

PlayStation 3 vs. Nintendo Wii

Last week marked the debut of both Sony's and Nintendo's next-generation consoles. Here's how they stack up:

Attribute PlayStation 3 Nintendo Wii
Cost Fucking ridiculous Reasonably ridiculous
Ability to tear apart families Second-to-none Pretty strong, though mostly because everyone wishes it were a PlayStation instead
The way your peers will view you "Dude! Can I come over and play that shit?" "I'll come over, but don't tell anybody, okay?"
Special features Speeds pace of evolution if touched Plays Super Nintendo games
Love of owner This much Thiiis much
Senses Fear Motion
Madden "What you got here is a real powerhouse of a system that could emerge as a legitimate contender in this league" "Small, scrappy system with a lot of potential. You gotta love this little guy's heart"
Parenting substitute Excellent Excellent

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