DURHAM, NC—In the face of reasonable odds, Louis Collins, 27, endured a challenge Monday that tested, but did not by any means exceed, his ability to persevere. "The line at the DMV was really long, and I had a lunch meeting at noon," said Collins, recounting the inconvenient event that ultimately did no lasting damage. "Then I realized that I still needed to fill out a form, but I didn't have a pen. If I had left the line to use a pen at the counter, I would have had to start all over. Thank goodness someone in line lent me one." In spite of the unremarkable series of obstacles, Collins still arrived at lunch on time.
LANCASTER, PAMuch to his family's indifference, 44-year-old father of two Bradley Kochner said he enjoyed an interesting show about Bigfoot on the Discovery Channel last night. "They had some neat footage that was shot in Oregon," said Kochner at the dinner table, describing the one-hour Legends Of Sasquatch special, in a desperate attempt to reach bored sons Joel, 13, and Kyle, 11. "If they show it again, I'll tape it. Maybe we can watch it together. Right, guys?" Kochner's wife Laura said her husband has similarly tried to engage his children in discussions about submarines, UFOs, and Pompeii.
MONTREAL—Yann Martel, author of the Booker Prize-winning Life Of Pi, said he was distraught to see what other books Amazon.com customers bought in addition to his. "Customers who bought this book also bought The Five People You Meet In Heaven?!" Martel read from his computer screen Monday. "And The Rule Of Four? Really?!" Martel was also surprised by the "sloppy writing" in many of Life Of Pi's five-star customer reviews.
BLYTHE, CA—Former Chuckawalla Valley State Prison inmate Jake Allen Dupree, 42, who completed a 20-year sentence for armed robbery last Friday, said he is excited to hear that '80s styles are experiencing a resurgence in popularity. "When the guard handed me my stuff, he said my acid-wash jeans, Kangaroos sneakers, and bright teal T-shirt looked really cool," Dupree said. "It's great that I won't have to buy a new wardrobe." Dupree added that he was happy to hear that Miami Vice was recently re-released, so he can find out what happened to Crockett and Tubbs.
Hello, sweetie! I didn't expect you home so early. Here, hand me your backpack. Ooh, heavy! So, how was your week? Well, I'm glad. College is sure fun, isn't it? Yes, it is! So, what did you learn today? Well, imagine that. You don't say? Yes, yes. Uh-huh. Yes, sweetie, Mommy's heard of Gil Scott-Heron. Have a piece of fruit instead, honey, that cake is for dessert tonight.
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox
8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC
Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!
BALTIMORE—Welcoming their trip to local bar Cavanaugh Tap House as a much-needed change of pace, a group of friends expressed their excitement Thursday at the opportunity to sit around and do nothing in a completely different setting, sources confirmed.
CINCINNATI—Unaware that it will soon be regarded by his managers as an unnecessary drain on the company’s bottom line, local software engineer Rob Lofland reportedly celebrated a raise Thursday that his employer will eventually use to justify firing him.