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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Practicing Safe Computing

The "Melissa" e-mail virus, which last week temporarily disabled more than 100,000 computers across the U.S., has sparked discussion of the issue of "safe computing." What are people doing to prevent the spread of such cyber-viruses in the future?
The "Melissa" e-mail virus, which last week temporarily disabled more than 100,000 computers across the U.S., has sparked discussion of the issue of "safe computing." What are people doing to prevent the spread of such cyber-viruses in the future?

The "Melissa" e-mail virus, which last week temporarily disabled more than 100,000 computers across the U.S., has sparked discussion of the issue of "safe computing." What are people doing to prevent the spread of such cyber-viruses in the future?

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