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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Predictions For Baseball's Second Half

With the All-Star break out of the way, Onion Sports runs down what to look for between now and October:

The Marlins will drop out of contention when they attempt to lower their payroll and play without a center fielder

Traded ace Rich Harden will win both the AL and NL Cy Young Awards and promptly throw the NL trophy in the garbage

After the Yankees win 20 games in a row in August, all those closet Yankee fans in the office that you didn't know existed for the entire season will resurface

Chipper Jones will continue on his historic march back toward a .300 batting average

Centuries from now, everyone will remember that play that Aramis Ramirez will make against the St. Louis Cardinals in the 10th inning on Sept. 15

Dan Uggla, scarred by his awful All-Star performance, will make 2,014 errors and strike out 342 times over the second half of the season

The Cubs will blow a chance to win their first World Series in 100 years, because pitcher Kerry Wood has an ouchie on his widdle fingy

Every team will win every game in the most awesome and outrageous second half of a season ever

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