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Predictions For Baseball's Second Half

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Predictions For Baseball's Second Half

With the All-Star break out of the way, Onion Sports runs down what to look for between now and October:

The Marlins will drop out of contention when they attempt to lower their payroll and play without a center fielder

Traded ace Rich Harden will win both the AL and NL Cy Young Awards and promptly throw the NL trophy in the garbage

After the Yankees win 20 games in a row in August, all those closet Yankee fans in the office that you didn't know existed for the entire season will resurface

Chipper Jones will continue on his historic march back toward a .300 batting average

Centuries from now, everyone will remember that play that Aramis Ramirez will make against the St. Louis Cardinals in the 10th inning on Sept. 15

Dan Uggla, scarred by his awful All-Star performance, will make 2,014 errors and strike out 342 times over the second half of the season

The Cubs will blow a chance to win their first World Series in 100 years, because pitcher Kerry Wood has an ouchie on his widdle fingy

Every team will win every game in the most awesome and outrageous second half of a season ever

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