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Friends Don’t Understand How Man Not Depressed

Citing factors such as his low-paying job, lack of foreseeable prospects, and modest living conditions, sources close to local resident Karl Brewster said Thursday they are at a loss to explain his day-to-day cheerfulness in the face of such a bleak exist...

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books

Disney Begins Uploading Obama’s Consciousness To Hall Of Presidents Robot

BAY LAKE, FL—In an effort to provide park visitors with the most true-to-life attraction possible, Walt Disney World officials announced Monday that computer technicians have begun uploading Barack Obama’s consciousness into his animatronic robot likeness at the Magic Kingdom’s Hall of Presidents exhibit.

Facebook’s Plans For The Future

From instant articles to live video, Facebook continues to look for new ways to expand its reach and offerings. Here are some plans on the horizon for the social media giant

Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Video Game Henchmen Plan Meetup Around Explosive Barrels

LEVEL 5—A group of video game henchmen patrolling the warehouse hideout of their criminal mastermind boss informed reporters Wednesday of their upcoming plan to take a brief break from making their rounds to meet up around a stack of five highly explosive barrels.

Study Links Clinical Depression To Getting Dunked On

BOSTON—Identifying a significant factor contributing to the development of the mental health disorder, researchers from Harvard Medical School published a groundbreaking study Thursday that reportedly links clinical depression to getting dunked on.

How Dating Sites Match Their Users

With millions of people opting to use online dating sites to meet new potential romantic partners, many are wondering how computer algorithms can enhance their chances of finding “the one.” Here are the steps that dating sites take to match compatible users
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Private Space Flight

Space Exploration Technologies, the company created by PayPal cofounder Elon Musk, recently launched a rocket that stalled before reaching its goal of orbiting the Earth. Here are some other highlights in the history of private space flight:

1956: Tom Hanks is born

1959: In Yosemite, a local outlaw gets so riled up by an irrepressible rabbit that he leaps into the stratosphere, accelerated by low body mass and downward-firing six-shooters

1975: Space Mountain opens in Orlando, FL

1979: Two Ohio men go missing after building a large-scale copy of one of those red plastic water rockets and pumping it 200 times

1995: Colorado sells its rockets to private citizens to pay for a new stadium

2001: 9-year-old Jenny Steven's parents confirm that her recently deceased dog is floating up in space watching over her

2002: Lance Bass fails in his bid to be the second homosexual in space

2004: Sir Richard Branson spends an entire week breaking in the space suit he plans to wear on his first trip to the moon

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