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Sports

Web Series Reaches 100 Views

A comedic webisode about two roommates became a viral sensation this week after reaching the unprecedented 100 view milestone.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Problems With The NFL's Collective Bargaining Agreement

The NFL is facing a possible lockout and the loss of next season if owners and the players' union can't work through these sticking points during negotiations:

  • Players are requesting the term "unrestricted free agent" be changed to "man who don't owe nothin' to nobody"
  • Owners want to cut back on 401k, player annuity, and severance spending, whereas players want someone to explain to them what any of that means
  • Players just pretending to want jewel-encrusted helicopters so they have something to give up at the table
  • Owners sick of giving players valuable game-worn football jerseys for free
  • Both sides fighting for more loopholes
  • Owners would like to change employment structure to a freelance system so players would be responsible for invoicing their teams for each reception, tackle, and Super Bowl victory
  • Actually, advertising slathered all over the uniforms fine by both sides
  • Owners will not budge on forcing players to watch their annual 32-way orgy
  • Players want health insurance
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