adBlockCheck

The Pros And Cons Of Flying The Confederate Flag

Top Headlines

Recent News

Seagull This Far Inland Must Be Total Fuckup

KNOXVILLE, TN—Questioning how the bird could have possibly ended up more than 300 miles from the nearest ocean, sources confirmed Friday that a seagull that was spotted this far inland must be a total fuckup.

The Pros And Cons Of Affirmative Action

The Supreme Court upheld a challenge to the University of Texas at Austin’s affirmative action program Thursday, reigniting debate over the merits of policies that favor members of groups frequently targeted by discrimination. Here are the pros and cons of affirmative action

Financially Struggling Trump Campaign Holds Fundraising Riot

NEWARK, NJ—Having raised only $3.1 million last month despite clinching the Republican nomination and with just $1.3 million on hand, Donald Trump’s presidential campaign sought a much-needed injection of cash Wednesday by holding a fundraising riot in Newark, sources confirmed.

Trump’s Potential VP Picks

Here is a guide to presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump’s potential running mates in the 2016 presidential election

47 Weak-Willed Senators Bend To Interests Of Powerful American People

WASHINGTON—Saying the closely watched Senate vote clearly demonstrated where the elected officials’ loyalties lay, political observers confirmed that 47 weak-willed lawmakers bent to the interests of the powerful American public Monday by voting in favor of measures that would bar anyone on government terror watchlists from purchasing firearms.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

The Pros And Cons Of Flying The Confederate Flag

A South Carolina bill to remove the Confederate flag from its position in front of the state house is gaining momentum, with the House of Representatives currently reviewing the bill and preparing to vote. Here are the pros and cons of flying the Confederate flag:

PROS

  • Bold way to display distorted, painstakingly cherry-picked heritage
  • Stirring symbol of South’s never-surrender attitude 150 years after South’s surrender
  • It’s already all the way up there on flagpole
  • Simplest way to let others know your state ranks in bottom quintile of all quality-of-life metrics
  • Eliminates uncomfortable feeling of having to say aloud what you think of African Americans
  • Political correctness should not get in the way of being on the wrong side of history
  • Without it, nation might forget racism ever happened in U.S.

CONS

  • Can’t fully grasp its incredible grandeur like you can on a bedspread or garage door
  • May arouse negative feelings among blacks regarding 19th-century states’ rights, currency inflation, and sectarianism
  • U.S. flag already represents history of entrenched prejudice just as well
  • Eliminates tedious raising, lowering, and triangular-folding tasks
  • Has always been sad reminder of The Dukes Of Hazzard’s cancellation
  • Could give accurate representation as to what kind of person is flying it
  • There still plenty of other ways to make nation’s black population feel despised, derided, and inferior



Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close