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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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The Pros And Cons Of Flying The Confederate Flag

A South Carolina bill to remove the Confederate flag from its position in front of the state house is gaining momentum, with the House of Representatives currently reviewing the bill and preparing to vote. Here are the pros and cons of flying the Confederate flag:

PROS

  • Bold way to display distorted, painstakingly cherry-picked heritage
  • Stirring symbol of South’s never-surrender attitude 150 years after South’s surrender
  • It’s already all the way up there on flagpole
  • Simplest way to let others know your state ranks in bottom quintile of all quality-of-life metrics
  • Eliminates uncomfortable feeling of having to say aloud what you think of African Americans
  • Political correctness should not get in the way of being on the wrong side of history
  • Without it, nation might forget racism ever happened in U.S.

CONS

  • Can’t fully grasp its incredible grandeur like you can on a bedspread or garage door
  • May arouse negative feelings among blacks regarding 19th-century states’ rights, currency inflation, and sectarianism
  • U.S. flag already represents history of entrenched prejudice just as well
  • Eliminates tedious raising, lowering, and triangular-folding tasks
  • Has always been sad reminder of The Dukes Of Hazzard’s cancellation
  • Could give accurate representation as to what kind of person is flying it
  • There still plenty of other ways to make nation’s black population feel despised, derided, and inferior



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