adBlockCheck

The Pros And Cons Of Helicopter Parenting

Top Headlines

After Birth

Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

How To Adopt A Child

Adoption is a beautiful way to provide a loving home for a child, though it is a logistically complex process that might take months or even years to complete. Here are the steps involved in adopting a child:

Conductor Fatigue Blamed In Massive Model Train Crash

BLOOMINGTON, IN—After surveying the dozen railcars and cargo of Lincoln Logs strewn haphazardly across the grass mat, investigators concluded Friday that a massive model train derailment was the result of conductor fatigue.

The Pros And Cons Of Co-Sleeping

The act of co-sleeping, where babies and toddlers share a “family bed” with their parents, is a rising trend in the United States, though the practice is contested by those who doubt its purported benefits. Here are the pros and cons of co-sleeping with your child
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

The Pros And Cons Of Helicopter Parenting

The rising trend of “helicopter parenting,” or hovering over a child’s educational, social, extracurricular, and home life, has been praised by some as true dedication to one’s kids and decried by others for potentially smothering a child’s independent development. Here are the pros and cons of helicopter parenting:

PROS

  • Only way to prevent your children from being abducted, molested, and then murdered
  • Get to watch every precious moment of your child’s transformation into a fully neurotic cream puff of an adult
  • No need for child to waste time developing their own dreams and ambitions
  • Forgot how fun it is to build toothpick molecules
  • You quit your career for this kid, remember? You gave up everything, and now you’re just going to let them get a B in French?
  • Guarantees you’re there to support your child when they have a nervous breakdown due to your overbearing parenting style

CONS

  • Much less cool than the phrase sounds
  • Can lead to dependency issues in which parents don’t learn how to function on their own
  • Though unlikely, it’s possible that your child does not actually dream of being tap and jazz star
  • Kids actually pretty awful to be around for more than a few minutes at a time
  • Children may grow up with a sense of entitlement to things like being surrounded by people who love and care about them
  • Not even that effective at psychologically compensating for all the mistakes you’ve ever made in your life

After Birth Video

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close