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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Pros And Cons Of Raising The Minimum Wage

As cities around the country, including Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, and Seattle, pass or propose legislation to substantially increase the minimum wage for workers, debate has raged over the potential economic, social, and fiscal impact. Here are some of the pros and cons of raising the minimum wage:

PROS

  • Lifts workers out of poverty to brink of poverty
  • One less thing to feel shitty about when leaving Chick-fil-A
  • Shorter lines at pawn shops
  • Higher morale among workers who aren’t casualties of cost-cutting layoffs
  • Gets picketers out of pathway to Big Mac
  • Bargain compared to cost of creating actual social safety net

CONS

  • Workers will grow complacent and lazy if they can afford basic human needs
  • Still just as insulting that your boss pays you lowest amount he or she legally allowed to
  • Awkwardness of being served by cashiers wearing top hats and monocles
  • 16-year-old cashier set to live like fucking king for rest of summer
  • Employee benefits like paid vacation, gym membership, and yoga sessions could be slashed for thousands of line cooks and convenience store clerks
  • Increases expense of exploiting workers



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