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Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.

How To Combat Harassment Online

Online harassment is an increasingly contentious issue, with social media sites like Twitter and Reddit pressured to crack down on users’ abusive behavior. Here are The Onion’s tips for combating harassment online:

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

A Timeline Of Trump’s Relationship With The Press

President-elect Donald Trump routinely insists that he is treated unfairly by the press, while many in the news industry have openly expressed how difficult it can be to report on him in today’s chaotic media environment. Here is a timeline of the major events that have shaped this relationship.
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Pros And Cons Of Raising The Minimum Wage

As cities around the country, including Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, and Seattle, pass or propose legislation to substantially increase the minimum wage for workers, debate has raged over the potential economic, social, and fiscal impact. Here are some of the pros and cons of raising the minimum wage:

PROS

  • Lifts workers out of poverty to brink of poverty
  • One less thing to feel shitty about when leaving Chick-fil-A
  • Shorter lines at pawn shops
  • Higher morale among workers who aren’t casualties of cost-cutting layoffs
  • Gets picketers out of pathway to Big Mac
  • Bargain compared to cost of creating actual social safety net

CONS

  • Workers will grow complacent and lazy if they can afford basic human needs
  • Still just as insulting that your boss pays you lowest amount he or she legally allowed to
  • Awkwardness of being served by cashiers wearing top hats and monocles
  • 16-year-old cashier set to live like fucking king for rest of summer
  • Employee benefits like paid vacation, gym membership, and yoga sessions could be slashed for thousands of line cooks and convenience store clerks
  • Increases expense of exploiting workers



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