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Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.
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Puppy Bowl Highlights

Onion Sports looks back at the best-ever moments from Super Sunday's other big event throughout the years:

1869: Rutgers the basset hound and Princeton the cocker spaniel square off in a playful romp that will eventually inspire today's Puppy Bowl

1950: In what is generally agreed on as the worst Puppy Bowl in history, everyone just shits all over the place

1982: The introduction of a new puppy funnel which adds extra puppies every 10 seconds is quickly discontinued after a major sheepdog clog

1984: In one of the greatest moments in Puppy Bowl history, golden retriever pup Maxwell puts his dear little face right up to the camera and just looks so confused and curious, and—oh, it was just the most adorable thing

2001: The XPL, a much-hyped competing puppy league, fails to find an audience and is disbanded; scrappy Doberman He Spayed Me is the only puppy asked to try out for the Puppy Bowl

2002: Dennis Miller is fired as Puppy Bowl commentator and is replaced by peppy soft jazz

2003: In a patriotic display for dogs serving in Iraq, the Puppy Bowl gets its first flyover by some cute puppies dressed up as baby eagles and suspended on wires

2004: Aerosmith plays the Kitty Half-Time Show

2007: Michael Vick is banned from ever again guest-refereeing Puppy Bowl

2008: Kala wins the Puppy Bowl by a final score of "Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwww!!!!!" to "Aaaaawwww!!"

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MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

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