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Weird, Area Woman Wasn't Harassed Today

Bewildered paralegal Caitlin Levy says that after returning home from work today, it occurred to her that, oddly, at no point during her day was she harassed, leered at, or made to feel humiliated or physically threatened.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Puppy Bowl Highlights

Onion Sports looks back at the best-ever moments from Super Sunday's other big event throughout the years:

1869: Rutgers the basset hound and Princeton the cocker spaniel square off in a playful romp that will eventually inspire today's Puppy Bowl

1950: In what is generally agreed on as the worst Puppy Bowl in history, everyone just shits all over the place

1982: The introduction of a new puppy funnel which adds extra puppies every 10 seconds is quickly discontinued after a major sheepdog clog

1984: In one of the greatest moments in Puppy Bowl history, golden retriever pup Maxwell puts his dear little face right up to the camera and just looks so confused and curious, and—oh, it was just the most adorable thing

2001: The XPL, a much-hyped competing puppy league, fails to find an audience and is disbanded; scrappy Doberman He Spayed Me is the only puppy asked to try out for the Puppy Bowl

2002: Dennis Miller is fired as Puppy Bowl commentator and is replaced by peppy soft jazz

2003: In a patriotic display for dogs serving in Iraq, the Puppy Bowl gets its first flyover by some cute puppies dressed up as baby eagles and suspended on wires

2004: Aerosmith plays the Kitty Half-Time Show

2007: Michael Vick is banned from ever again guest-refereeing Puppy Bowl

2008: Kala wins the Puppy Bowl by a final score of "Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwww!!!!!" to "Aaaaawwww!!"

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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