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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Reasons For Britney Spears' Divorce

Last week, Britney Spears announced plans to divorce husband Kevin Federline. Here are the reasons the couple decided to split:

  • Passionate fire flickered out during burping contest
  • Writing team producing next album needed more material
  • Federline kept eating last Zinger in freezer without replacing it
  • Ran out of things to talk about
  • Stud contract required Federline be returned to breeder after second successful siring
  • Decision made by write-in vote for Kids' Choice Awards
  • Federline's late nights at the office became too much of a strain
  • Kevin was being all jerky and Britney was all like, "Get out. Jeez!"

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