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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Reasons For Obama’s Low Approval Rating

A new Quinnipiac University poll released Thursday showed that President Obama’s approval rating has plunged to 44 percent. Here are the reasons why Americans say they disapprove of Obama's job performance:

  • Hasn’t killed Osama bin Laden in over two years
  • Flawed handling of humanity’s inherent capacity for violence and deceit
  • Ranking someone else as poor engenders fleeting perception of superiority
  • Nightmarish oligarchy wherein millions of unemployed Americans watch as the wealthy grow endlessly richer somewhat of a bummer
  • Weak, effeminate hands
  • All that shit about his birth certificate and Obamacare
  • Has consistently wavered back and forth between doing nothing about climate change and doing nothing about gun control
  • Failed to preserve Americans’ blissful ignorance regarding privacy violations
  • Did not enact 9-9-9 taxation plan to fix economy and create jobs
  • Is unable to deliver consistently high approval ratings
  • Though the U.S. president admittedly has no influence over relevant crude oil production, a factor that is well beyond any one person’s direct control, fact remains that gas prices are fucking crazy right now
  • 2013
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Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:

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