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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
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Record Flight Delays

This summer has been one of the worst in recent years for flight delays, particularly for passengers stuck on the runway. Here are some of the factors behind the delays:

Pilot not exactly in hurry to get to Buffalo

Flight dispatcher working on psychology dissertation, titled "Human Reactions In Confined, Deteriorating Conditions"

Gremlin on wing prematurely destroying engines prior to takeoff instead of waiting until plane hits 30,000 feet

Airlines figure passengers will question safety if planes just take off willy-nilly

Cockpit tip jar empty

Good-natured pilots agreeing to wait for any and all passengers running a little late to airport

Pilots vs. luggage handlers softball game went into extra innings

Security needs more time to squint at you

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