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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Regan Suing News Corporation

Judith Regan, the former publisher of Reganbooks, is suing Rupert Murdoch and News Corporation, alleging that the company sought to discredit her in an effort to protect Rudolph Giuliani's presidential ambitions. Taken from court documents, here are some of her specific allegations.

Made married, corrupt, bald, overweight cop Bernard Kerik so sexy that Regan had no choice but to throw herself at him and compromise her professional integrity

Twice had her salary docked by News Corp brass for not being bald and paunchy

Baiting her to make anti-Semitic remarks by surrounding her with incompetent Jews

At a News Corp Christmas party, Bill O'Reilly deliberately took her favorite karaoke song just before she was about to go on

Rupert Murdoch publicly claimed he didn't lose a single pound on the Regan-published diet program, The Zone

Had a kid with a broken leg stand outside her house telling passersby she broke his leg

Threatened to destroy that rapidly aging portrait of her in the attic

Made her out to be some sort of soulless bitch intent only on making money off humanity's worst instincts

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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

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