adBlockCheck

R.E.M. Breaks Up

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Who's Fucking: Zack and Evan

Coworkers Zack and Evan talk about moving past first impressions, stepping out of your comfort zone, and understanding what it really means to fuck someone.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

R.E.M. Breaks Up

After 31 years together, the Athens, GA–based band R.E.M. has announced it is breaking up. Here are some highlights of the group's career:

  • 1980: The band selects the name R.E.M. after deciding Really Excellent Music is a little too straightforward
  • 1983: Really start getting into themselves after a friend lets them borrow a copy of their debut album Murmur and it sounds like no rock music they've ever heard before
  • 1984: The group shares a collective ironic laugh over the picture of a baby angel smoking on the cover of Van Halen's 1984
  • 1994: Kurt Cobain lists Michael Stipe as one of his biggest influences seconds before shooting himself in the face
  • 2004: R.E.M. and John Kerry begin appearing together at campaign events, with both sadly believing the association will boost their popularity
  • 2007: After entering the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, band members agree to stay together another four years so it won't be obvious they were just holding out for induction
  • 2011: The band books the Staples Center for a future reunion concert, for which Michael Stipe has prepared a long speech about his lifelong love of showbiz and razzle-dazzle

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close