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Remembering Earnhardt

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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Remembering Earnhardt

It's been 10 years since racing lost Dale Earnhardt, a man synonymous with NASCAR's rise to popularity in the 1990s. We look at his life and legacy.

  • 1950: Conceived when a sperm crashed headfirst into the membrane of an ovum
  • 1974: Upon watching his son Ralph Dale, Jr. being born, Earnhardt spits, says, "Good luck, kid," and walks away
  • 1975: After finishing 22nd in his racing debut, Earnhardt announces he plans to get better, first by purchasing a car
  • 1976: Immediately after Janet Guthrie makes sports history by becoming the first woman to run a superspeedway race, Earnhardt spins her out, winning the hearts of NASCAR fans
  • 1980: Wins his first Winston Cup for being the only driver to actually keep track of who won and how everyone finished in each race
  • 1987: Earnhardt suggests everyone start calling him "The Intimidator"
  • 1987: Informs GM Goodwrench they will sponsor his car from now on; Goodwrench company decides they'd better do as he says
  • 1992: Thanks to Earnhardt's tireless efforts, NASCAR fans are finally willing to accept a black car
  • 1994: Seventh Winston Cup championship ties him for most of all time with Richard Petty, the other famous NASCAR driver
  • 1997: Establishes the Dale Earnhardt GM Goodwrench Man In Black #3 The Intimidator Wreck The Tits Off 'Em Foundation, which raises money to fight breast cancer by spinning out Jeff Gordon
  • 1998: Smokes an entire pack of cigarettes and reads four issues of Field & Stream while racing the Coca-Cola 600
  • 1999: Fucks Terry Labonte's wife right in front of him
  • 2001: Finished 12th in the Daytona 500; also, died

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