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Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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Remembering Princess Di

This Friday marks the 10th anniversary of the death of Princess Diana of Wales. What tributes are being paid to her memory?

Prince Philip, Buckingham Palace: Muttering, closing drapes

Sarah Irvine, Pensacola, FL: Sharing her six-stanza poem "Hymn for a Princess" on the MSNBC.com Diana tribute message board

Elton John, London: Auctioning off his tearstained throw pillow from when he heard the news; donating proceeds to charity

Mohamed al-Fayed, London: Giving all-night reading of names of people he believes were involved in the conspiracy to break up Dodi al-Fayed and Diana

Marc Kampa, Freeport, IL: Placing a tiara on the dashboard of his car

Kathy Briquelet, Philadelphia, PA: Continuing to remain in a loveless marriage for the sake of her two sons

Douglas Bright, Seattle, WA: Comforting attractive women who are crying because Diana is dead

Annie DiPasca, Fairfield, CT: Speaking in a soft British accent for the bulk of Friday morning

John Kotter, Wayne, NJ: Working tirelessly for needy children and people with AIDS, and ending the scourge of land mines worldwide

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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

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