adBlockCheck

Entertainment

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
End Of Section
  • More News

Replacing Meredith

With Meredith Vieira rumored to be leaving the Today show when her contract expires this year, NBC is scrambling to find a new female cohost. Here are some of the people being considered:

  • Ellen DeGeneres—She already does shit like this now, might as well do it earlier in the morning
  • Jane Pauley—Right the wrong of 1989, NBC!
  • Patti Smith—While admittedly a bit less polished than the usual Today anchor, Smith could really help NBC capture the demographic currently using their TV as part of an art installation.
  • M.E.R.E.D.I.T.H.—Building on their experience with Watson, the Jeopardy!-playing computer, IBM engineers have created an artificial host program that asks perfectly inane questions.
  • Bob Costas—With the right lighting he looks just like Katie Couric for half the price
  • Paula Zahn—Equally comfortable seated on a couch or casually walking four steps toward a table while throwing to commercial
  • Tyra Banks—Plenty of experience talking and being sassy, and she's been naturally waking up earlier and earlier for some reason
  • Natalie Morales—Veteran Today correspondent shares Vieira's shoe size, which would help NBC save thousands per year in wardrobe costs
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close