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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Revelations From Robert Gates' Controversial New Book

Former defense secretary Robert Gates has stirred controversy with the release of his new 600-page book, Duty: Memoirs Of A Secretary At War, which offers his candid and often damning insider assessments of the Obama administration, Congress, and Washington politics. Here are some notable revelations from Gates’ book:

  • An entire department exists expressly for the defense of America, and Gates himself was once the head of it
  • Though he lauded the entire armed forces while in office, Gates admits in retrospect that three of the troops were in fact kind of shitty
  • Some 150 pages in, Gates drops a bombshell revelation that members of the U.S. Congress are selfish and even, at times, incompetent
  • Obama was unaware of a war in Afghanistan until late 2009
  • Admits that he found it very liberating to be able to talk openly with so many people who knew the truth about 9/11
  • President Obama brazenly attempted to exert control over nearly every aspect of the country, in the manner of a sort of “chief executive”
  • Secretary Gates has a fantastic command of the written word, with a vital, transcendent voice and effortless ability to draw the reader into a living, breathing world of mystery and political scandal
  • Sasha Obama is the better daughter
  • In one of many vicious personal attacks throughout the book, Gates specifically calls out Taliban leader Mullah Mohammed Omar as “aggravating,” “vindictive,” and even “anti-American”
  • Alleges that President Obama refers to sandwiches as “sammies” behind closed doors
  • At the conclusion of the 600-page account, Gates writes that, all things considered, he actually had a pretty good time in Washington

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