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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Revelations From Robert Gates' Controversial New Book

Former defense secretary Robert Gates has stirred controversy with the release of his new 600-page book, Duty: Memoirs Of A Secretary At War, which offers his candid and often damning insider assessments of the Obama administration, Congress, and Washington politics. Here are some notable revelations from Gates’ book:

  • An entire department exists expressly for the defense of America, and Gates himself was once the head of it
  • Though he lauded the entire armed forces while in office, Gates admits in retrospect that three of the troops were in fact kind of shitty
  • Some 150 pages in, Gates drops a bombshell revelation that members of the U.S. Congress are selfish and even, at times, incompetent
  • Obama was unaware of a war in Afghanistan until late 2009
  • Admits that he found it very liberating to be able to talk openly with so many people who knew the truth about 9/11
  • President Obama brazenly attempted to exert control over nearly every aspect of the country, in the manner of a sort of “chief executive”
  • Secretary Gates has a fantastic command of the written word, with a vital, transcendent voice and effortless ability to draw the reader into a living, breathing world of mystery and political scandal
  • Sasha Obama is the better daughter
  • In one of many vicious personal attacks throughout the book, Gates specifically calls out Taliban leader Mullah Mohammed Omar as “aggravating,” “vindictive,” and even “anti-American”
  • Alleges that President Obama refers to sandwiches as “sammies” behind closed doors
  • At the conclusion of the 600-page account, Gates writes that, all things considered, he actually had a pretty good time in Washington

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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