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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Revitalizing The GOP

The defection of Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter from the Republicans to the Democrats has left the GOP without enough members to filibuster, and served as a wake-up call to the party.

What are Republicans doing to revitalize their image?

Replacing apocalyptic fear-based rhetoric with more restrained fear-based rhetoric

Now support the removal of feeding tubes, but only to allow for periodic cleaning and reinsertion

Getting Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin to mate, creating the first member of a super-Republican race

Reaching out to young people with Trickle, the supply-side economics mascot

Have already given the party chairmanship to a black man—a black man, for the love of God. Was that not enough for you people?

Now recognizing women's suffrage

"Getting caught" at independent movie theaters on weekday afternoons

Maybe taking responsibility for at least a couple of things that are currently wrong with the country

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