Revitalizing The GOP

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Vol 45 Issue 20

Cow Genome Outlined

After six years of work, 300 scientists have unraveled the bovine genome, which may lead to better milk and meat production. What do you...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Innovation

Revitalizing The GOP

The defection of Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter from the Republicans to the Democrats has left the GOP without enough members to filibuster, and served as a wake-up call to the party.

What are Republicans doing to revitalize their image?

Replacing apocalyptic fear-based rhetoric with more restrained fear-based rhetoric

Now support the removal of feeding tubes, but only to allow for periodic cleaning and reinsertion

Getting Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin to mate, creating the first member of a super-Republican race

Reaching out to young people with Trickle, the supply-side economics mascot

Have already given the party chairmanship to a black man—a black man, for the love of God. Was that not enough for you people?

Now recognizing women's suffrage

"Getting caught" at independent movie theaters on weekday afternoons

Maybe taking responsibility for at least a couple of things that are currently wrong with the country

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