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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Romney's Campaign Gaffes

The Romney campaign scrambled to limit political fallout last week after the leaking of a video in which the GOP nominee made controversial comments about low-income Americans and those receiving government assistance. Here are some of Romney’s other campaign-trail gaffes:

  • June 2, 2011: Enters GOP race
  • Sept. 22, 2011: Overheard on a hot mic saying, “Sometimes I think things would be a lot easier if my name were Matt Romney”
  • Oct. 7, 2011: Accidentally introduces his family members by their annual incomes instead of their names
  • Nov. 21, 2011: Leans out over hotel balcony and dangles his third son, whose face is covered by a towel, for the crowd below to see
  • Feb. 12, 2012: Reams out butler in front of entire nation
  • Apr. 1, 2012: April Fools’ Day prank flops when nobody knows the difference between a croquet mallet and a polo mallet
  • Apr. 29, 2012: Accidentally has hive of wasps burst out of his chest while on Meet The Press
  • May 17, 2012: Stays for dessert at a private fundraiser and opens the floor to a few questions
  • Aug. 30, 2012: While delivering nomination acceptance speech, huge wad of $100 bills falls out of his pocket and thunks audibly on the podium

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