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Politics

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

What You Need To Know About The Dakota Access Pipeline

Construction is currently stalled on the Dakota Access Pipeline, which would connect North Dakota’s Bakken Shale development to oil tank farms in Illinois, by protests led by members of the Standing Rock Sioux tribe. The Onion provides answers to key questions about the project.

What Can Americans Expect Under A Trump Presidency?

With two months until the inauguration of Donald Trump, many Americans are wondering what his term will look like and what his administration might accomplish. The Onion answers some common questions about Trump’s upcoming presidency

James Comey Quickly Reopens Clinton Email Investigation For Few More Minutes

‘Nope, Looks Like It’s All Good Here,’ Says FBI Director

WASHINGTON—In a letter addressed to Congress that was quickly followed by a second message retracting the first, FBI director James Comey is said to have briefly reopened the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails for several more minutes Friday.

Pollsters Admit They Underestimated Voters’ Adrenal Glands

WASHINGTON—In response to widespread criticism that they had failed to predict Donald Trump’s victory in the 2016 election, analysts from polling organizations around the nation admitted Thursday they had underestimated the influence of voters’ adrenal glands on the presidential race.
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Romney's Campaign Gaffes

The Romney campaign scrambled to limit political fallout last week after the leaking of a video in which the GOP nominee made controversial comments about low-income Americans and those receiving government assistance. Here are some of Romney’s other campaign-trail gaffes:

  • June 2, 2011: Enters GOP race
  • Sept. 22, 2011: Overheard on a hot mic saying, “Sometimes I think things would be a lot easier if my name were Matt Romney”
  • Oct. 7, 2011: Accidentally introduces his family members by their annual incomes instead of their names
  • Nov. 21, 2011: Leans out over hotel balcony and dangles his third son, whose face is covered by a towel, for the crowd below to see
  • Feb. 12, 2012: Reams out butler in front of entire nation
  • Apr. 1, 2012: April Fools’ Day prank flops when nobody knows the difference between a croquet mallet and a polo mallet
  • Apr. 29, 2012: Accidentally has hive of wasps burst out of his chest while on Meet The Press
  • May 17, 2012: Stays for dessert at a private fundraiser and opens the floor to a few questions
  • Aug. 30, 2012: While delivering nomination acceptance speech, huge wad of $100 bills falls out of his pocket and thunks audibly on the podium

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