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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Russia Engages In Saber Rattling

Recently, Russia has engaged in what seem to be Soviet-era tactics, such as a ballistic missile test, a threat to target Europe, and a suspected cyberattack against Estonia. Here are some other examples of Cold War behavior:

Feb. 17, 2005—Putin adopts a hammer and sickle as the Russian AIM buddy icon

Nov. 10, 2005—Putin flat-out accuses Bush of spreading capitalism

July 15–17, 2006—While hosting the 32nd annual G8 summit, Putin makes "yap-yap-yap" hand motions the entire time anyone else is talking

Oct. 18, 2006—Russia asks Latvia, the Ukraine, and Uzbekistan if they might want to reunite

April 14, 2007—That little boy whom Putin kissed on the bare stomach? He's dead

May 9, 2007—Putin poisons anyone who isn't nodding in agreement

May 19, 2007—Putin orders forging of giant saber, for rattling purposes

June 8, 2007—Putin says in an interview with The New York Times that he would enjoy a scenario where the U.S. and Russia are interlocked in a world conflict that could ultimately end in global annihilation

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