adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
End Of Section
  • More News

Saving The Lions

The 2008 Detroit Lions are officially one of the worst teams in NFL history. What does the franchise have to do to turn itself around?

Game plan to keep offense and defense off the field

Consider removing ice cream machine from sidelines

Free safety Stuart Schweigert absolutely has to go

Concentrate on confidence building plays like falling on a teammate's fumble or throwing passes that are caught by crowd instead of other team

Take the advice of longtime Lions fan Ben Wodyczyek, 78, and just hit 'em with your purses, you buncha bums

Follow the lead of the rest of Detroit: Assume inevitable Japanese takeover will make organization more efficient, more cost-effective, more reliable, and more popular

If entire team is killed in plane crash, NFL bylaws provide for a league-wide expansion draft of top players. Just saying

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close