adBlockCheck

Saving The Lions

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Television

Saving The Lions

The 2008 Detroit Lions are officially one of the worst teams in NFL history. What does the franchise have to do to turn itself around?

Game plan to keep offense and defense off the field

Consider removing ice cream machine from sidelines

Free safety Stuart Schweigert absolutely has to go

Concentrate on confidence building plays like falling on a teammate's fumble or throwing passes that are caught by crowd instead of other team

Take the advice of longtime Lions fan Ben Wodyczyek, 78, and just hit 'em with your purses, you buncha bums

Follow the lead of the rest of Detroit: Assume inevitable Japanese takeover will make organization more efficient, more cost-effective, more reliable, and more popular

If entire team is killed in plane crash, NFL bylaws provide for a league-wide expansion draft of top players. Just saying

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close