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Scandalous Coach Firings

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Scandalous Coach Firings

  • 1967: The sporting world is stunned when the Green Bay Packers fire Vince Lombardi for gross incompetence
  • 1982: That sick fuck hockey coach in the next town has to move in the middle of the night after six kids finally tell their parents
  • 1985: Billy Martin staves off his fourth firing for a good 15 minutes by wrestling George Steinbrenner to the ground and not letting go
  • 2000: Indiana University officials say they would have fired Bobby Knight for merely grabbing an IU freshman by the arm, and the fact that he then ripped it out at the shoulder was irrelevant
  • 2003: In a move many feel came six years too late, Lou Piniella is finally dismissed as head coach of the Philadelphia 76ers
  • 2006: After a one-day experiment, the Sacramento Kings quickly fire Ron Artest as head coach
  • 2008: Isiah Thomas is fired by every person he walks past in New York City
  • 2008: In a move some saw as over-the-top, Omar Minaya waits until Willie Randolph is asleep and enters his dreams to fire him there
  • 2011: After decades of recruiting violations, John Calipari is finally fired for it
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